By Priyansi Paudyal - a licensed lawyer practicing at Law Lab Nepal
Content warning: This article contains discussions of misogyny, purity culture, and anti-sex work language
No two swear words have quite the same meaning. They are selected and shaped by culture and powered by taboo. The overuse of offensive words can lead to desensitisation, but this doesn’t make them harmless. For instance, a word such a ‘RANDI’, which means ‘whore’ in Nepali, is more than a mere insult. It is a tool that is used to take away the dignity of women, define their value as existing only in relation to men, and enforce purity culture, while inflating the egos of people who use such words. This is indeed the essence of linguistic misogyny, whereby language itself is a medium that enforces patriarchal norms by making women, their bodies, and their roles a target.
‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.’ This common saying is taught to every English-speaking child. It teaches young people to dismiss the power of language in creating and maintaining structures of inequality, a sentiment which exists across cultures.
Profanity isn’t just offensive, it’s expressive.1 Language reflects what a culture values, what it fears, and who it marginalises.2 Common Nepali slurs are designed to humiliate women and also shame the men who are associated with those women. This is a reflection of the broader societal attitude towards women. Upon asking men and women why swear words usually degrade women, the answer chilled my spine: ‘A man’s honor is tied to the purity of the women around him.’ This logic might be convincing to some people but for me it was a realisation of how women are perceived by many. It made me think, ‘Aren’t women individuals with agency or value in themselves?’ It made me question if women are viewed as mere vessels of men’s pride; their chastity not for their own sake, but for the reputation of their family. Disturbingly, this form of misogyny is not only reinforced by men but also women.
Swear words can also be used as a tool of social control over women. If a woman is too outspoken, demands autonomy, prioritises herself, or dresses the way she wants, swear words are used to shame her for stepping beyond her prescribed role.
Profanities about sex are often directed at women, even when they are not the subject of the insult.3 Words like ‘motherfucker’ work symbolically to attack feminine identity as a route to undermining men.4 In Nepal, words like, ‘Randi ko chhora’, meaning ‘whore’s son’ and related phrases are used in everyday speech, in rap songs, and online comment threads. This parallels the English phrase, ‘son of a bitch’. The damage here is not merely symbolic or emotional; language shapes our thoughts. By normalising the use of misogynistic slurs, we are contributing to the normalisation of violence against women by reinforcing the subjugation of women.
Offensive language reflects the structure of patriarchy. Men speak, women are spoken about. Though, some women repeat the patriarchal language they hear as an attempt to conform.
It doesn’t have to be this way. We can begin to dismantle patriarchal systems by adjusting the language we use. Calling out sexist slurs, promoting respectful language to young minds, and recognising the prejudice of profanity.
If we truly value women, we must start by valuing the way we speak about them. A society must reject linguistic tools that are used to dehumanise and degrade a woman. As the Middle-Age Persian poet Hafiz said, 'What we speak becomes the house we live in.' Changing our language is a critical step towards changing the world around us, shifting the cultural terrain upon which that oppression is built.
All in all, language is power. Swear words dictate who has the power to speak and who must remain silent. The consistent use of misogynistic slurs in languages across the world, from Nepali to English, reveals a deep cultural hatred towards women and queer people, as well as anxiety about the agency and autonomy of these people. If we aspire to build an equal and just society, the first step is to unlearn all the hate embedded in our everyday speech. Words have immense power, and it is high time for us to use words to liberate and not wound.
References:
1 Adams, M. (2016). In praise of profanity. Oxford University Press.
2 Ibid
3 Ibid
4 Ibid